On changes

2016 has been a conundrum.

For me, it was full of travel, and exciting travel at that. I was a globe trotter, a wanderluster, an airline frequent flyer. Something I've always dreamed of being. I loved the new experiences, views, and tastes, although I always faced them with careful planning, I guess to counteract my fear of the unknown. I saw the sun rise over Machu Picchu, I lit candles at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, I ate tapas in Barcelona and drank Aperol Spritzers in Italy, went to a SPA in Romania and had dinner in a palazzo in Mdina in Malta. All of these amazing experiences were stuff that dreams are made of, moments that I never thought I'd be able to experience, but I did. That's something to be grateful for, and I am. The best moments of my year were at those trips.

At the same time, 2016 was not all happy moments for me. It feels almost unappreciative, ungrateful and even whiny to say it, given how many people dream about some of the trips that I have been able to take, but I have not been as happy as I have wanted to be. Sometimes it felt like a struggle. There were disappointments - in people I thought close, in the way some situations have unfolded, in the inability of people to step outside themselves and understand others, in the atmosphere at the office, even in my own inability to make the changes I need. Maybe I needed to learn some lessons. Maybe I was holding on to a past and a closeness that was no longer there, and I needed to snip those invisible threads holding me to move on. Maybe I need to learn that not everything people do is a reflection on me, or somehow my fault, but more of a reflection on them and their own character. I don't know if I've learned that lesson yet.

And while this year has cast an unflattering light on some relationships, it has illuminated others once again. There were people I feel immensely thankful for, like my family, like friends that feel close despite being thousands of miles away, and old friendships rekindled. I know that for some of my married/in a relationship friends it is hard to relate to my suddenly single and not as happy self, so I am very grateful for those who have been there for me and who have taken time out of their lives and plans to support me. I am trying to be there for them as well.

As for this year's resolutions, there are some big ones and some small ones, but hopefully they will all bring me joy. Some of them I have done and loved, but somehow have never gotten around to doing again, so I think now is the time. Others are new and exciting. I would appreciate any help with making them come true, as well as any company - so message me if you's like to be part of these.

Here they are:
- swim in a waterfall
- go on a photography trip
- get a tattoo
- fall in love
- spend all day outside
- go ice skating
- update my Behance profile
- stop feeling guilt
- fly with a balloon
- brush up on my Italian

But what is more, I will try to embrace change, make it mine, make it exciting. 2017, here I come. 

Christmas Baking

This year's Christmas baking was very successful, if I dare say so myself. Every year I aim to try out a few new recipes - it's my thing. I like trying out new things, and since I don't have that much time during the year, the holiday season seems like a good time to finally do it. Besides, home-made cookies and candy make for great Christmas gifts.

I always enjoy home-made gifts so much. It's both the gift itself and the fact that the person took time out of their daily schedule and routine to make it that makes it twice as precious as a normal gift, in my opinion. I have so little free time that I always appreciate when someone just as busy has made something for me.

But back to this year's baking - the recipes I tried out turned out to be amazing - coffee crinkles and Oreo truffles with black and white chocolate. They were sooo tasty, I almost kept them for myself instead of giving them as gifts to my team at work.

The coffee crinkles were soft and chocolaty and coffee-tasting and completely amazing - they are easily a contestant for the title of my favorite cookies ever. The recipe is from A Baker's House.

The Oreo truffles were also quite nice and creamy, and I used some nice cooking chocolate for dipping, which totally made a difference. My advice is to use good quality chocolate for such things whenever you can. The recipe is from here: Cooking Classy.

All in all - a good holiday baking haul and an excellent selection for this year's Christmas gifts.

My Art Shelf

I have been looking around for artwork for my house ever since I moved in a few years back, and I never seemed to have any luck. Rarely did anything catch my eye, and if it did I usually found some small detail that I didn't like or the work was simply too expensive. As much as I would like to, it would be hard for me to pay thousands of dollars for a painting. I have also browsed Etsy for hours at a time trying to find something for my living room to no avail...until this past December.

It all started with the painting in the middle, an abstract ink on paper, that I randomly saw on Etsy and loved at first sight. Because my living room is in coffee, chocolate and cream colors, this work fit perfectly with my decor and the other pieces that I have painted myself for the room. After that, it seemed that great pieces of art were simply falling into my lap from Etsy's pages, and I ended up with this small collection at very reasonable prices. I am very pleased with my new art shelf, so I thought I'd give a shout out to the artists:

from left to right

Forest - art print by Schall Eszter
https://www.etsy.com/shop/schalleszter
This shop has really cute art by the Hungarian illustrator Schall Eszter - birds in the forest, drunk foxes singing, elephants jumping rope, orange frogs and Eskimos fishing. I chose this adorable print of a bird near a cherry tree to keep up with the bird theme I have going on at home.

Autumn Treescape - linocut by Giuliana Lazzerini
https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheBluebirdGallery
I took some printmaking classes in college, so I couldn't pass up on a hand-pulled linocut with tiny birds hand-drawn in ink. Another must-have for my bird theme. There are also a lot of fox and hare prints on her Etsy shop as well.

Moon and Stars - watercolor by BluePalette
https://www.etsy.com/shop/bluepalette#
This is a real favorite of mine. I have worked with watercolor since my first art class when I was four, so I can appreciate the delicate beauty of this technique and the craftsmanship it requires. BluePalette's shop has these amazing circle watercolors that are truly great finds. They are little gems, and I wish I could buy a bunch of these and make a whole gallery wall with them. Not saying I won't at some point :)
I love the night sky, especially in the summer when it is full of stars and everything is quiet in the dead of night, but you are awake and basking in its serenity. This is what this painting reminds me of, so I had to get it. At 20 dollars, I think it is a bargain.

Abstract Ink Drawing - ink drawing by ComArt
https://www.etsy.com/shop/ComArt
This is the painting that started it all, and I still love it. Some people have asked me what is it that I see in it, since it is basically a splotch of ink, but I tell them that it is beautiful. I don't know what it is, but I find it truly beautiful and harmonious in its composition. This artist has some great stuff.

Minimalist Modern Linocut - linocut by Toni Point
https://www.etsy.com/shop/printwork
If you are looking for something minimalist, this is the place to go. I really like the play of shapes and positive-negative space in the print I bought. It is dynamic and simple at the same time. This goes to show that linocuts don't have to be ornamental, but they can play in the abstract realm as well.

Watercolor Illustration- glicee print by Victoria
https://www.etsy.com/shop/VictoriAtelier
There was no actual title given to this piece by the author, as far as I've seen, but I call it my "Sun painting", so that in my collection I have a sun and I have a moon (the little round watercolor). This abstract piece also looks great, and it has an incredible richness of colors. The fact that it's not all bright jewelled tones makes the depth of hues even better - the neutral background in beige, cream and cappuccino flows to beautiful little speckles of gold, navy, sea blue and aubergine. I would have loved to own the original, but since it was not available, I decided to get the glicee print and enjoy the painting anyway.

So there it is, my modest little collection, but one that I now love to look at every day. As an artist myself, I find that having art in one's home makes it cozy and unique, and I hope that you all can find something that you like out there - there are great little galleries around Sofia and abroad, and there is always Etsy.

Soft Pumpkin Cookies and Goodbye Vacation

Like I said in my slice-and-bake cookies post, I have decided to let loose during the holidays and indulge in making and eating some homemade sweets. This year I made a ton of tikvenik (pumpkin pastry with cinnamon and walnuts) for our Christmas and New Year celebrations, but I ended up with a piece of leftover pumpkin that I didn't use. I was wondering what to do with it (it was not enough for my favorite baked pumpkin soup) when I came across a recipe for soft pumpkin cookies on Food for the soul. It just so happens that I do usually like my cookies soft, even chocolate chip cookies, so I though I'd give the recipe a go. I changed the filling a little bit, though: instead of cream+sugar+butter+curds+mascarpone, I did a simpler cream+a little bit of powdered sugar filling, and for the marmalade filling, I used my homemade quince marmalade without much added butter. I liked the recipe, and the cookies turned out very delicious indeed. I will enjoy them on my last day of freedom before the work week and the work year officially starts :)

All That Happened in 2014

So, what happened in 2014?

Commissioned art (read more about one of the pieces here)
New job!
Team building in Verona and the Tyrolean Alps
Greek road trip to Thessaloniki, Lefkada, Meteora and Katerini
Two weddings: being a bridesmaid at my friend Lilly's and a guest at the other wedding in Arbanasi  (read more here)
Museum Night in Sofia
One Design Week in Plovdiv (read more here, here and here)
Product training in Osijek, Croatia
Reenactment of the April Uprising in Koprivshtica (read more here)
Day trip to the Krushuna Falls
Holiday parties and reunions with friends
10 year reunion at the American College of Sofia
Some articles about me (read here and here)

and that's just in brief :)

And what to expect (and hope for) in 2015?

More commissioned art.
New products in my art shop (stay tuned!).
Travel, travel, travel! Somehow it always seems like I don't travel enough, even if this year alone I had three trips abroad and many more around Bulgaria. I am kicking off next year with a birthday bash with friends in London, and we'll see how it goes from there.
One Design Week again, and maybe this time I will try to participate in the bazaar if I have time.
More weddings coming up.

And let's hope for:
Healthy lifestyle and lots of movement
More time spent with friends
Only happiness on the personal front

New year, here I come!

A Snowless Winter

I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I seriously miss snow.

Despite the fact that I was a February baby, born smack in the middle of winter here in Bulgaria and no stranger to freezing weather and snowstorms, I never liked the cold very much. You'd think I learned from that as I older, but I guess I didn't, since I went to college in Maine of all places. In my defense, it didn't occur to me to think about the climate when applying to college. In the past five years or so I have gotten progressively cold-averse, spending winters huddled under blankets, with thick socks on my feet and multiple layers of clothing. I also tend to crank up the heating in my house, much to Pavel's chagrin, who went as far as going out on the snow-covered terrace in his underwear one morning last year to cool off. It was hilarious.

Through all these snowy and cold winters, whenever I would shiver, and that was often, I would think about what it would be like to live on Bora Bora or at least somewhere like California. I thought I'd have a blast with the lack of winter, maybe making an exception for the winter holidays. I am a sucker for a white Christmas.

So guess what? This winter we've had exactly one snowfall here is Sofia, which was back in November or something, and since then it has been completely dry with the occasional week of thick fog. No snow. Above 0 C temperatures. I should be in heaven right now. Except I'm not.

Through all my whining about winter, I never factored in the fact that having lived in a four-season environment my whole life, my body is used to a certain progression of the weather. Now that the progression is all out of whack, my body feels uneasy, like it's waiting for something to happen, and yet nothing happens. It's like being suspended in the same late fall, early winter season for months and months, and it's annoying me. I remember back when I was living in London, I had a similar problem with the lack of sunshine. It was seriously messing with my mood in ways that you don't pick up on at once, but they are there, and they pile up.

So can I have some snow please? Not asking for a full on snowstorm, just one tiny quiet pretty snowfall. I promise I'll try not to whine about snow next winter...maybe.

What do you think? Have you experienced unexpected discomfort related to the weather somewhere?

2013: A Year in Review

Time for a Year in Review.

Looking back at my blog during 2013, I am sorry to say I did not write much. Even came as far as skipping two whole months - October and November. This sucks. Hopefully, with my MBA out of the way, I will be able to post more.

2013 was both better and worse than 2012. I managed to squeeze in two great trips, which made me very happy in view of the last few years of OK, but not awesome vacations. I toured the US with Pavel for three weeks, attended my five year college reunion, and even passed through London on the way back to see a friend. I also spent a long weekend in Brussels and Bruges with my cousin, which turned out to be quite the pleasant retreat in between school terms.

Something great that I did in 2013 was finally opening that Etsy shop of mine, and actually selling four paintings! I am so glad about being able to earn some money through my art, and this year I will try to paint more and take care of my shop.

As for the negatives: stress, stress, work, stress, stress, stress. I feel burned out, to be honest. Also, as I have often said, stress is bad for your health, literally, and I think that I am suffering some of the consequences. Long days, barely managing to eat lunch at 4 in the afternoon in front of the computer, weekends spent inside writing papers, evenings at the office instead of at dance class, they have all taken their toll on me, so now I need to make sure I have a better balance for my health.

Looking at last year's resolutions, though, I think I did pretty well in that respect. It was the first year when I put them formally in writing on my blog, and it has helped me stay on track. I was not perfect, but then again, who is? So here is my retrospective:

1. Graduate with an MBA. Check! I am sooo done with studying! Having a demanding job and a demanding graduate program was hard as hell, I have to say. Still, the grades from my final class are out, so now I am just expecting my diploma. Yey!
2. Do more of the things I love and connect more with the people I love. Opening an Etsy shop: check! Spending time with people I love: I could have done better on this one, but now that I am done studying, this one will resolve itself.
3. Socialize. OOkay, this needs work. Like, major work. With my job and school, I have become a recluse, which sucks big time. This resolution will be transferred to 2014.
4. Look well-groomed all the time, not just sometimes.  I did OK on this one, I am proud to say. There is still room for improvement, but I am definitely taking better care of my appearance. I am also very happy to say that I have found some great cosmetics and make-up products that work well for me. One of my friends used to say that every woman should have her pamper beauty kit of quality cosmetics, and I think she is right. I feel good using the Bioderma line for problem skin, my Estee Lauder lipstick, my Clinique Superbalanced makeup, my Urban Decay Naked eyeshadow palette, and my latest favorite find - the Chanel Inimitable mascara.

Next up on my blog, expect my 2014 resolutions! Stay tuned!

Looking at My Life & Some Resolutions

The winter holidays are a favorite time of mine, and I am normally relaxed and focused on nothing else but soaking up Christmas carols and movies, reading a couple of books, and eating delicious food. This year was not that different, except for the fact that I did a lot of thinking about my life. I have felt very stressed this past year, and I'm sure that most of my posts from the last six months show that in one way or another. I have been really busy, and I have often felt like I have not a single spare minute in a day to do something for pleasure or look at myself in the mirror.

Some of the people in my life have expressed the opinion that perhaps I am overreacting; after all, plenty of people work and study at the same time and don't feel like I do. I am not sure what to say to that. All I can say is that I am usually quite hard on myself, and I am generally not a complainer, so if I do complain, it's generally for a legitimate reason. I am trying to find a decent balance of work and play in my life, but lately it has been extremely hard and it bothers me. I feel really grateful for everything that I do have: my own home, nice parents, a guy that has been nothing but wonderful to me, to mention a few. I am just trying to find a way to live more, rather than do more.



I am looking to change a few things in my life in 2013. I am not going to mention some of them here, but I am going to talk about a big to-do item that I should check off my list, which is finally finish school. A lot of the other stuff follows from this one. So here they are, my Resolutions:

1. Graduate with an MBA by the end of the summer.
This one is a definite must. I need to finish studying ASAP or else I fear my brain will begin countdown to explosion. I write down all tasks and errands that I need to complete for work, school, and for home, but I catch myself forgetting one thing to make room for remembering another :). This coming term will be the hardest one yet - Strategic Financial Management and having to submit a full business plan for a new company, so I really need to be on top of my game for these. After that it's four marketing courses, and if all goes well, I should be done by the beginning of September. The next six to eight months are likely to be the hard, but I will have to push through. 
Finishing my degree will lift a huge weight off my shoulders in so many ways that I can't wait for that day to come. Having to study nights and weekends, I've had to miss lots of fun stuff and nights out with my friends. In fact, it is quite hard to work around my schedule to meet with my friends at all. I'm lucky that I get to see my guy at home every night, or I don't know what I would do. Not only that, but I would not have to work around papers and exams when planning vacations or deciding whether I can go on vacation in the first place. Of course there is also the financial part of getting a degree; finally having one means no more tuition fees.
A mini goal related to this big goal for 2013 is to complete my degree without being a slave to the textbooks. I'm not entirely sure how I can achieve that without having a clone study instead of me, but I will sure as hell try.

2. Do more of the things I love and connect more with the people I love. 
This would follow from completing my degree, but I would love it if I could find the time to do more reading, paint more, do more photography, meet more people and hang out with my friends, my guy and my parents more even before I graduate. Life is a lot nicer and I am a lot less cranky when I can spend time doing all those creative things I like to do.
I have been working hard to build a decent body of abstract paintings and collages for an art show, and my goal is to have an art show at some point. This point could be 2013 if I am lucky. I should also finally open an Etsy shop. I'm not sure how often people realize sales of artwork on Etsy, but even one sale would be a huge deal for me, so I should do it soon.

3. Socialize
With all this time in the office and in front of the books, I have become somewhat of a hermit. It sucks. I need to expand my horizons, meet new people, find new friends. I have felt a tiny bit lonely in terms of friends lately.

4. Look well-groomed all the time, not just sometimes.
 OK, I am allowed one girly resolution for all the hard work I've been doing, and this is it :). I am usually good at this, and I have addressed some issues with my skin this past year, but I have a tendency to put the finer points of my appearance on the back burner when I don't have much time or I am too stressed, which is often lately. I dress well, but when I feel tired I am less likely to think of a great outfit or give myself a facial. I do feel better when I know I have taken good care of myself, so my goal this year would be to try and exhibit the same level of care for myself that I exhibit for studying, for example.

 Hopefully these don't look ridiculous to most of you, but even if they do, they are mine and I'll stick with them :) Did you decide on your resolutions for the new year already?

P.S. The photos are from the trip I took with some friends to celebrate the new year. Unfortunately, there wasn't really any snow, but on the upside, our fireworks were amazing.